A film more important than Earthlings

Land of Hope and Glory is described as the “UK Earthlings”.

It basically consists of undercover film shot in UK farms and slaughterhouses.

It’s harrowing, it’s hard to watch, it’s heartbreaking and shocking. It is also a film all vegans in the UK should watch.

Why?

Well, it’s free to view online – either from the website at the bottom of this article, or on Youtube.

The film is about 50 minutes long.

But mainly because the facts are laid bare. It’s a stark reminder of what is happening every single day of the year. Plus, everything you need to know to form a solid argument while debating with others is there.

These facts are also printed out on the website – as are links to where the footage came from.

So, if Earthlings already exists, why make this?

That too is answered on the website. The makers – Surge (surgeactivist.com – the group behind the Official Animal Rights March) said that people were saying “that doesn’t happen in our country” in response to Earthlings. This film proves it does.

I, personally, think that this film should now replace Earthlings in UK “experiences” as it’s more start, more relevant and will resonate with people on a deeper level in this country – this is their bacon, pork, eggs and milk.

Yes, eggs and milk. Make no mistake, this is a vegan film, not a vegetarian film – footage of the eggs and dairy industries are also laid bare.

It also dispels the myth that halal slaughter is somehow different to traditional methods of slaughter – stunning often does not work, and animals are still conscious when they have their throats slit.

The documentary is split into chapter by species – pigs, cows, sheep and birds. It does focus on farming and the use of animals for food – but there are other films available that tackle subjects such as animal experimentation and hunting.

There is a link on the website to a short film on fish.

Despite the fact this film was released earlier this year, it seems to be getting very little publicity among vegan groups on social media. That is the main reason I have decided to write this blog.

It is an important film. It’s modern, it shows what is happening on farms and in slaughterhouses here in the UK and it does not shy away from graphic, hard-hitting scenes.

In other words, it is vital ammunition in an activist’s arsenal.

It doesn’t go into the health benefits of a vegan diet (again that is discussed in other documentaries) and it would be nice to see a farmer try and defend what they do in a film such as this. I may think it’s indefensible, but I like to see a little balance just so the charge of “vegan propaganda” can be discounted.

I also think the fact the film lacks star appeal may put some people off – as does the fact that Earthlings is seen as THE animal rights film – but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for other movies! There is certainly room for this – I cannot reiterate enough how relevant it is to the UK! It is notoriously difficult to obtain footage from inside slaughterhouses and farms, so this really needs to be seen by everyone:

By vegans to remind them of what goes on and to arm them with the facts.

By non-vegans to show them the suffering behind their diets.

See the film at https://www.landofhopeandglory.org/

 

 

Gosh, these vegan sausages are natural

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Gosh Naturally Fee-From 6 Sweet Potato and Black Bean Sausages reviewed

One look at the ingredients tells you these are jam-packed with natural goodness. Although, reading the ingredients, or, indeed, the cooking instructions, is a challenge in itself. The horrible white on green print means that less than perfect eyes, or less than perfect lighting, renders the back of the packaging illegible.

The big plus, however, apart from the natural goodness, is the fact that this product is both gluten and soya-free – in other words, they are suitable for almost anyone – which is great news.

Now, the name might imply blandness – I have to say that this is deceptive. Tucked away at the end of the ingredients list is two words that completely annihilates all thoughts of blandness – and also disperses any taste of sweet potato (27 per cent of it, according to the packaging) that may have been there when the sausages were first formed!

“Just tell us the words,” I hear you scream. Well, they are chilli flakes! Two innocent words that spice things right up when it comes to sausages. In fact, the heat is the overriding taste that takes control of your taste buds with every bite.

The fact the packet neglects to mention this means you’ll either be pleasantly surprised (like me) or utterly horrified. Let’s face it, not everybody likes spicy food, so the fact the box says “with a hint of lime”, rather than “with a kick of chilli” is a bit perplexing to me – especially as I failed to detect the “hint of lime”.

However, I could taste the black beans (25 per cent of the ingredients) – something which was a huge plus for me – I’m a big fan of beans, and sausages and beans are, of course, natural bed fellows.

They sausages are very dry, so a brush with oil before cooking is a good idea – as is covering them in gravy (especially if you wish to lessen the chilli hit), but they have a soft texture and a rusk-like taste and feel to them – again, this is a plus in my book as it makes them more sausagey (yes, I did just make that word up).

All in all, a pleasant surprise for me, but not one for those who dislike spicy food.

I got mine from Morrisons, and they are, at the time of writing, priced at £2.47 on their website – https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Gosh-Sweet-Potato–Black-Bean-Sausages/389798011 – which seems more than reasonable to me.

 

Where have all the vegans come from?

The number of vegans keeps growing and growing and social media keeps uniting them.

It’s odd really – animal rights protests and protest movements are attracting a fraction of the participants these days in comparison to the ‘70s and ‘80s, but it does actually make sense.

Many new vegans are driven by celebrity culture promoted by social media – often this means people are vegan for health reasons – and the argument that veganism is a healthier diet is certainly compelling.

But there is certainly a rise in compassionate vegans – people who are vegan for animal rights reasons – and the rise in social media means that there has also been a rise in social awareness. Look at the reaction to the film Earthlings compared to the Animals Film – the latter was actually broadcast on Channel 4 during its opening week. At the time, of course, there was no social media, internet, or even mobile phones, so the Animals Film was only talked about in school playgrounds, offices and common rooms.

Yet, in many ways, the Animals Film is more important than Earthlings because it got there first and got mainstream coverage – and it includes footage of the ALF and hunt sabotage. It’s worth tracking down on e-bay.

One could argue that the huge increase in the number of vegans saves countless lives in itself – and it does. Vegans are everywhere. When I first became vegetarian, there was one brand of soya milk in my local health food shop – and it tasted like dish water.

Now, every supermarket stocks plant milk and most stock plant cheeses. Most restaurants have vegan options and veganism is talked about in the national press.

Even farmers have been complaining about plant milk being called “milk” – because they see the rise in its popularity as a threat to the declining dairy industry.

However, social media also promote laziness – anyone can share a petition, comment on a story or fire off an email – getting out and demonstrating, or doing direct action seems less, well, popular these days. That’s probably because electronic protest is so easy, or maybe it isn’t seen a socially acceptable – I’m not sure why.

The rise in veganism has, by many, been labelled a “middle class thing”. The rise in luxury foods like hummus and avocado as vegan staples hasn’t helped – the latter is over-priced and over-rated in my opinion.

The main issue I have with vegans on social media is bullying. People who are vegan for different reason, new to veganism and transitioning are often shamed, shouted down and attacked for using this or that product, liking this or that person and not boycotting this or that company – it’s a very easy way of turning someone against veganism. Gentle debate often produces better results – especially with people who are, broadly speaking, on the same side as us.

On the plus side, information sharing – such as where is good and bad to eat, where you can buy what and swapping recipes and cooking tips has never been easier – and sometimes, online friends can become real-life friends.

It is also true to say that film of animal abuse is now easier to share – you are not limited to TV as a medium and nearly everybody in the Western World can take video on their mobile phone. This means that animal abuse is very often caught on video and shared widely. The same goes for vegan messages and recipes – and definitely for vegan products – look at the Gary publicity!

So, which came first, the decent vegan food, or all the vegans? Well, firstly, there is no replacement for cooking from scratch and using natural ingredients. I, and many other vegans, eat too much processed food – because it’s available.

Supermarkets are driven by demand – and social media gives a medium to voice such demands – so, the rise in veganism can, I believe, be the reason supermarkets are catering for us.

The message is being heard and spread because it’s backed up by science, welfare concerns, health concerns and, it has to be said, the promotion from celebrities and, in particular, sports stars, as a healthy diet.

All hail the kale! Strong Root Kale & Quinoa Burger

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Both kale and quinoa have been called super foods – so this should make these burgers super super!

Well, they are quite nice. And, it’s always nice to find new vegan foods that sound pretty awesome – in a healthy way too! Although, these go perfectly with chips – should you wish to not overdo the healthy thing.

Who doesn’t love kale right? Kale crisps are the perfect homemade vegan treat – health and quick, and for immune system boosters – well there isn’t a better food on the planet.

Crumbs, vegans even wear T-shirts with Kale written on – you don’t see that with potatoes!

But let’s not underestimate Queen Quinoa! Oh no! She is a complete protein and an awesome wheat-free alternative to grains – in other words, you don’t need to feel guilty when chowing down on these burgers.

So what are they like? Well, inside they are very green – kale green in fact – surprising that!

They come in a pack of six, so they are pretty small – a strapping young (ahem) like me needs three with a meal! But, as they’re pretty healthy, I’m not complaining – and no animals have been harmed in making these burgers – I don’t emphasise that fact enough on here!

The coating lacks crunch, but adds flavour – I will happily forego crunch for flavour – and they only take 15 minutes to cook in the oven – bonus!

They taste – well, natural!

They aren’t over-seasoned – or seasoned much at all, it seems – although salt does feature on the ingredients list!

They are soft, delicately flavoured and complement most dishes – so, overall, a thumbs-up from me.

 

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Foraging for samphire

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When I was a kid there was nothing I liked more than going samphire collecting.

Now I’m older, I recognise the health benefits of samphire as well as the value of something that tastes divine, is totally free and is a joy to forage. The health benefits of getting out in the natural world are legion, and the vast skies and calming bird song of the salt marshes are simply diving, exhilarating and relaxing.

There are two types of samphire, rock samphire is much more difficult to find, in fact, as its name implies, it involves rock climbing and putting yourself at risk. Marsh samphire is much easier to collect, as long as you know how far the tide comes in, when it comes in and look out for the creeks (natural sea dykes) as you walk – they can be several feet deep and are sometimes hidden by long grass. But they can be fun to jump over – and who doesn’t enjoy getting muddy?

Samphire is famous around Lincolnshire and Norfolk – further inland some people haven’t even heard of it, let alone tasted it. For those of us in the know, it is also referred to as the asparagus of the sea. It does resemble asparagus a little, but it’s smaller and bushier. It’s a rich green sea vegetable that grows on the marshes between June and August. Go out too early and the samphire isn’t big enough to harvest, too late and it doesn’t taste as nice.

To collect it, you simply cut the stalk near the bottom, leaving the roots in the marshland. If you pull it up by the roots, not only will you kill the existing plant, but it’ll be heavier to carry once you have a bag full and it’ll be harder to wash.

To eat samphire, you simply suck it off the stalk. It has a salty taste, but this should come as no surprise considering where it is found. As long as you wash it thoroughly, you can eat it raw – it’s nice with a salad. Stir-frying is another option, lightly toss it in some olive oil – I would add some sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper – and you have a tasty side dish, snack or sandwich filling.

I usually boil it for a while (around 10 to 15 minutes – until it slides easily off the stalk and has a tender texture), then eat it hot with dairy-free margarine and new potatoes. Restaurants often serve it as an accompaniment. I always cook far too much and leave the rest in the fridge for sandwiches over the next few days. There is also the option of pickling it in vinegar to preserve it over the coming months. I, personally am not too keen on the vinegary taste this produces, but many people seem do like it – and it means you can enjoy samphire out of season.

Samphire contains virtually no fat. It has 100 calories per 100 grams and it’s rich in minerals. It contains no saturated fat or cholesterol – which is surprising when something tastes so good. There is a small amount of sodium – 0.8 milligrams in 100 grams – something that is also surprising given its salty taste. It is rich in vitamins A, B and C and contains folic acid – all of which is good news, but there’s more. It can help cleanse the liver, aid digestion, relive flatulence and improve people’s moods and alertness.

You can in fact buy your own samphire seeds now, for sowing between February and May, and even your own samphire plants, you will, of course, need light, sandy soil, but it reseeds itself and so will grow year on year. I haven’t tried to grow my own, so I don’t know if it tastes as good as the foraged stuff. You can sometimes find it for sale at fish mongers and farmers’ markets – but why pay for something you can go and get for free yourself?

And where I go to collect it, the marsh is surrounded by blackberry bushes – so there’s free pudding as well for the excited foragers.

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The great plant-based ‘milk’ debate

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The rise and rise of plant-based dairy alternatives seems to be getting the farming community hot under the collar.

I guess it proves those who say “going vegan won’t change anything” wrong.

In June, the Court of Justice of the European Union ruled that vegan alternatives cannot use words like milk in product descriptions.

The case was brought by the German Competition Authority against TofuTown (sounds like my kind of place).

The EU Court ruled plant-based alternatives cannot be described using the terms ‘milk’, ‘cream’, ‘butter’, ‘cheese’ or ‘yoghurt’, as these are reserved by EU law for animal products. Finally, a reason for supporting Brexit (although there’s plenty of other reasons for being a ‘remoaner’).

Truth is, the dairy industry is panicking about the fact it’s losing sales to healthier, more ethical (not hard) to vegan-friendly alternatives. ( http://vegfestexpress.co.uk/tabs/blog/2017/02/dairy-free-plant-milks-market—the-future ).

In almond milk etc as “milk” on their websites – and to even stop stocking it next to dairy milks – maybe they’re scared dairy buyers will catch a conscience as they browse the shelves?

So, it seems as vegans up the ante in criticising the dairy industry, it is resorting to desperate measures to fight back. Remember, it is also pressure from the dairy industry that has led to the badger culls in the UK – despite the fact there is no evidence at all that badgers spread BOVINE TB ( https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jul/13/badger-cull-expansion-flies-in-face-of-scientific-evidence ). So, quite rightly, activists have drawn parallels with the dairy industry. Quite simply, buying dairy milk leads to dead badgers.

The furore follows last year’s great Gary Facebook debate, when Sainsbury’s launched their own brand of vegan cheese ( https://veganonadesertisland.com/2016/10/02/the-great-gary-review/ )

Sainsbury’s had some free marketing over that one – somebody thought that it was wrong to call the product “cheese”. It seems the desperation goes on and one…

So, why can’t market forces just accept that ethical living is on the rise? Big supermarkets are getting in on the act, major multi-nationals are making money out of veganism and the “middle class” vegan has a huge part to play in the economy? Or, are those of us who are anti-capitalist just too prominent in the vegan movement? Revolution cannot be allowed to happen – remember!

Personally, I think there are too many rich and powerful players in the animal agriculture industry for politicians to allow it to fail – despite the fact we could feed the world many times over if we all went vegan tomorrow. So, while veganism was “allowed” to exist as a niche product line, the fact the number of vegans has exploded beyond even our wildest hopes as kicked the meat and dairy industry (it is one combined industry if we’re honest) into attack mode.

I’ve read posts on Facebook in the past about reserving the words burgers and sausages for meat products – but they’re just shapes! You get different meat varieties of sausages and burgers, so why not meat-free versions?

I have noticed in the numerous stories about veganism on national news sites that non-vegans in society as a whole now feel it necessary to go into attack mode in the dreaded comment sections. Does this come from a sense of guilt or a fear that their cosy lifestyle (of pain and suffering) is under threat?

 

The only vegan in the office

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Being a vegan at work can be hard, well, work.

Even with the 4 billion per cent rise in veganism (figures curtesy of the Leave Campaign and Diane Abbott), many people just don’t “get it”.

“But what do you eat.” Food mainly.

“You can’t even eat eggs?” Even eggs? Most people don’t actually die from a lack of egg consumption.

“Don’t you miss bacon?” No I don’t miss a fried slice of pig skin too much.

And so on.

To be fair, many people do try hard.

My former employers used to ask about vegan options on the menu for Christmas meals out. One restaurant forgot to get vegan cheese in and offered me a vegan alternative – and a free round of drinks for my table! Everyone wanted to be friends with the vegan that night.

But I did once go to an Italian restaurant whose vegan option was a pizza without cheese – that actually turned out to be a base with tomato sauce on it and two bits of asparagus. I like asparagus, but two pieces a pizza topping do not make.

But people do forget that it goes beyond diet sometimes. We won’t bet on the Grand National, go dog racing, give to Cancer Research etc etc.

Sometimes explaining these things can get a little bit tiresome – but when that happens, remember that it gives you an opportunity to explain your stance. In effect, you are being asked to be a “preachy vegan” – so go for it. You never know, you might open someone’s eyes.

I asked people on social media for their experiences. One Facebook friend mentioned how friends were raising their child vegan and said this on the ill-informed response she received: “Apparently, it’s ‘borderline child cruelty to impose veganism on someone who can’t think for themselves.’ Like animals can think for themselves, yeah?”

Somebody else had slightly more positive experiences: “People at my office are generally pretty good – and interested in talking about veganism. My boss is ace and has sourced me Vego bars for Easter and vegan cider for Xmas. However, I wasn’t able to go to the Xmas meal as they had a really rubbish vegan option – so it’s not always at the forefront of people’s minds. Also, people always bring in cake for their birthday and I can never eat it.”

Personally, I like the response from one office worker, who said: “My boss’s response “well there must be other normal vegans out there because you’re quite normal”.”

You see, we are normal!

Canteens were another issue, with many vegans bringing in packed lunches even when this facility is available in a workplace. One worker had this to say about company-provided food: “For the last company event I asked in advance if a vegan option could be possible. They ordered me 6 dry bread rolls. Compare that to the treatment I got when I recently visited our sister company in Sweden – they had informed the hotel in advance, arranged a vegan lunch for me every day and had informed the restaurant where we had an evening function that a member of the party was vegan and planned a menu for me.”

To be fair, the first time I ever encountered avocado was at a training event where a vegan meal was provided for me.

Several vegans I asked on Facebook said they were known as “the vegan” at work – something I find a bit laced with prejudice, although it can be done affectionately.

The most blunt response I received was from a builder friend: “Try telling someone you are vegetarian or vegan on a building site it’s almost as bad as telling them you sh***ed their granny the night before.” Quite!

It was also pointed out that “Case law has shown that veganism is a protected belief.” Something that is worth remembering if you get bullied or singled out in the workplace.

One respondent in charge of tea and coffee had been using soya milk instead of cows’ milk for months before anybody noticed… It’s worth checking that nobody has a soya allergy before doing this, however, the same applies to nut milks.

It is a bit difficult when someone brings a smelly McDonalds into work, the same applies to Tuna or egg, all of them smell like hot death to a vegan’s sensitive nostrils. To the death eater, we are a bit weird. Being a bit weird is generally OK you know – especially considering the alternative.

Vegans and the dating game

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Vegans are people too.

We have, you know, the same issues as everyone else – and we also like to fall in love.

Hereth begineth the debate… To say there’s a lot written about vegan dating on social media is like saying “vegans like to argue on Facebook”, but the truth is, there is one simple rule – there are no rules!

The first law of Vegan Fight Club is that “vegan shall talk about it to everyone, everywhere – ever!”

There are so many vegan groups on Facebook, and dating is a subject that comes up again and again and again and again…

Should vegans only date vegans? Should people who become vegan while in a relationship finish that relationship? Should vegans banish meat-eating partners to the shed to eat their dinner? And so on and so on and on and on…

Again, I say, there are no rules. The human brain is a complex thing, it falls in and out of love more often than a Bon Jovi song called “In And Out Of Love” and it doesn’t always adhere to the rules of the vegan heart.

In other words, it’s up to you.

The dating game has changed beyond all recognition over the last 10 years. Now, people are just as likely to meet online as they are over a vodka and orange in the local pub. But, this means that people are able to stipulate specifically the type of person they are looking for in a partner – short, tall, fat, thin, athletic, lazy, geeky, funny, serious, vegan….

Obviously, this can mean that a huge number of potential partners are thrown into the bin of “nah” automatically!

I, personally, use Plenty Of Fish and message someone every six months or so – such are the restrictions of veganism (and being too tight to pay to find love) and I have recently signed up to Grazer.

There was a lot of excitement in vegan forums around the launch of Grazer – it’s free and it’s pretty much the vegan version of Tinder – although there are vegans on Tinder too – I know, I’ve been on there too!

The whole “swipe left” thing seems a bit cold to me – but such is the fame of Tinder that the phrase “swipe left” has become part of modern language. The main problem is that if you don’t live in London, there might be relatively few local vegans on the site. However, it is relatively new, so give it time. I also found that a lot of people don’t actually tell you anything about themselves on their profile – so you are solely judging them on a picture.

So, basically, Grazer has the same advantages and disadvantages as Tinder, but it is growing and so it’s worth joining and if there’s no one there for you, check back in a few weeks.

The likes of Plenty of Fish also have vegan profiles – but finding them can be a bit like finding a vegan in your local pub – although you can search for “vegan” and find the nearest one to have used that description lives 75 miles away – not all vegans call themselves vegans on their profile.

Then there’s Facebook. Other than having to sell your soul to Satan to sign up, this is also free – and there are plenty of vegan singles groups and pages on there – there’s even one for Vegan Singles in their 40’s (I dislike the rogue apostrophe, but otherwise it’s an excellent group) and there’s naughtier ones for vegans who like to talk about sex – A LOT. Shock, horror, vegans are interested in sex – and not just which brands of condoms are vegan-friendly.

Let’s be honest, most people are on Facebook, so joining a dating group on there is just as likely to bring you success as any “paid for” or “traditional” online dating site. I have met former partners, new friends and dates just by chatting to new friends on Facebook in the past – just the act of interacting online can bring people together.

Then there’s “real life dating”. Yes, people still meet in the pub, club, at gigs, in the gym, at work and while out bird watching (not so much). And, if you’re a vegan singleton, there are local vegan groups, food shares, animal rights meetings, vegan fairs etc etc. You can meet potential partners at all of these (vegan fairs often have speed dating events these days), but, more importantly, you can make new friends, share ideas and enjoy a social life with like-minded folks. You could always run into a sexy vegan by the “meat-free” section of your local supermarket – although I don’t recommend spending a day there on the off-chance – people might think you’re weird…And you could be asked to leave, doing your “street cred” no favours at all.

People become vegan at many stages of life – some are already in relationships with omnivores, some have been vegetarian first and some are now vegan from birth. Also, everybody’s life story is different, so the important thing is not to judge. Some people are comfortable with dating meat-eaters, some with dating vegetarians, some with only dating vegans, we all have our own preferences.

It is also worth adding that there’s a lot of advice and support available in social media forums when it comes to vegan dating, vegan love and vegan sex – vegan squirty cream wasn’t invented without sex in mind you know!

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Vegan on a desert Island

I wrote this about a year ago for a news site that vanished without getting in touch with me! Seeing as this page shares a title with the blog, I thought I’d revamp it very slightly and publish it here – because I can!

 

There are many things that can happen unexpectedly in our daily lives – lottery win, car crash, puncture, TV going wrong – but we vegans have an extra peril to face every day – we might end up alone on a desert island!

To be fair, sending vegans to desert islands isn’t merely a social media phenomenon; people in pubs, work mates and even family members all suddenly become curious about our survival options should we be stranded on one of the few uninhabited desert islands left in the world. Not only that, but there will be no phone signal, no 3 or 4G and no radar tracking the area in which we vanished.

I really was totally unaware of how dangerous being a vegan could be when I ditched the dairy. If you’re not vegan, never get on a plane or boat with us, it will sink or crash and everybody else will die leaving the sole vegan stranded in the middle of nowhere. It happens all the time.

But a vegan can’t be stranded on just any remote, unpopulated desert island, oh no! In order to be a vegan stranding-friendly desert island, it can have no edible plants or vegetables and be populated only by animals – edible animals of course, or the scenario won’t work.

You see, if there is the option of eating vegetation, then we can’t be forced to hunt animals in order to survive on said desert island. The fact that there needs to be some kind of food chain in place so that carnivores survive goes out of the boat window when it comes to random vegan strandings. You see, carnivores have to prey on animals that are, in general herbivores and herbivores need vegetation to survive, so the whole desert island eco system needs to be totally messed up in order to accommodate vegan strandings.

There will be fresh water on the island of course – the carnivorous beasts need it to survive too, and there will be trees – there has to be something with which to make fire, so said carnivores’ flesh is edible. However, these trees cannot be the type of trees that produce fruit, oh no, or else stranded vegan will become fruitarian and mess up the whole hypothetical stranding horror.

Another issue for the stranded vegan is that, generally humans don’t eat carnivores. Why this is so is down to speculation really – the smell, evolution meaning we haven’t developed a taste for them and the fact that they are harder to catch could all be reasons. Also, said carnivores are often dangerous, so our poor stranded vegan would probably die while trying to break his or her moral code. Don’t forget, most people are stranded without a gun (especially if they’re vegan), so they will probably be hunting with a home-made bow and arrow. Most people that go on cruises or fly abroad don’t carry weapons you see, customs aren’t usually very friendly towards people packing high-powered rifles!

I used to make bows and arrows as a kid, and I wasn’t very good at hitting my brother with them, so I’m sure I’d be useless when it came down to trying to kill a mountain lion. And I’m not sure there’d be enough string or sharp flint kicking about on the island to make the bow and arrows either!

But, fish are carnivores. So, it seems, the desolated desert island would have to be surrounded by an abundance of sea life – no edible seaweed though – to give our hapless, soon to be lapsed vegan any chance of survival. Of course, there will be a tree (without edible fruit) to provide the necessary weapon for catching the poor fish which will provide 100 per cent of your balanced diet – you see, wooden speared fish are the solution to all castaways’ problems!

The message to all vegans is, unless you want to become a seal, avoid getting stranded on desert islands at all costs. When going to work, to the pub, to a vegan fair, or down the shops, take a route that avoids any desert islands on which you can become accidentally stranded.

 

Vegan Choices at Easter

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Choices is a very apt name for vegan Easter eggs these days – there really is a huge variety to choose from.

That said, Choices is seen by many as the vegan Easter egg God – which means they can be a little more difficult to track down in the last week before chocoholics everywhere get an excuse to indulge without feeling guilty.

I chose the old favourite – a Choices egg with Caramel flavoured Choices – sweets that battle Vego bars for the kings of vegan chocolate. There are Choices white chocolate eggs and an egg with Rondellos also available. My favourite. It costs £4.60 from http://www.alternativestores.com – I got mine from Sainsbury’s, however.

The main problem here is that with three caramel-flavoured chocs, it isn’t going to last very long.

I love Choices caramel-flavoured chocolates, and you can buy boxes for £3.89 from Holland and Barrett online – http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/choices-dairy-free-caramel-flavoured-choices-60006419?&utm_medium=cpc&&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=bing&utm_adgID58700001086330938 – or get them when you’re out shopping.

They are devastatingly moreish – incredibly sweet chocolate, with a thick fondant caramel centre that takes you to heaven on the back on a unicorn with butterflies circling your head every time you take a bite. I warn you, that devouring a whole box in one go is highly likely once you’ve eaten one…

 

The egg itself is also a joy to munch – for that too is flavoured with the divine elixir of caramel flavour. Sweet and creamy, it’s like a fairy’s embrace and offers a total escape from the trash on TV over the holidays. If it rains, you will forget your disappointment within a second of tasting this wonderful egg-shaped chocolate taste of wonderment.

It’s nice, OK?

I really did save the best until last in my brief series of vegan Easer egg reviews.

There are far too many available now – if I reviewed them all I would be unable to move for a month and would have kept the tooth fairy in overtime for a month.

This is great news people – veganism has gone mainstream, and it’s only going to grow.

Happy Easter.